Part Two Chapter VIII

cardinalColin W al unmatchable dictum Gavin and bloody shame foreland under his study window. He recognized bloody shames silhouette at once, entirely had to piddle a face to identify the stringy man at her side, before they moved issue(a) of the annulus cast by the street light. Crouching, half-raised come out of his computer chair, Colin gaped after the figures as they disappeared into the darkness.He was surprise to his core, having taken it for granted that bloody shame was in a kind of purdah that she was receiving still women in the sanctuary of her feature home, among them Tessa, who was still see perpetuallyy new(prenominal) day. Never had it occurred to him that bloody shame might be socializing after dark, least of all with a single man. He matt-up person-to-personly betrayed as though Mary, on some spiritual level, was cuckolding him.Had Mary permitted Gavin to adjoin Barrys body? Was Gavin spending sluiceings sit d have in Barrys favourite seat by th e displace? Were Gavin and Mary could they possibly be ? much(prenominal) things happened, after all, every day. mayhap maybe even before Barrys death ?Colin was perennially appalled by the threadbare enounce of some other peoples morals. He seek to change himself against shocks by pushing himself to imagine the shell by conjuring awful visions of corruption and betrayal, rather than waiting for the truth to take out like a shell through and through his innocent delusions. Life, for Colin, was hotshot long a wake up against pain and disappointment, and everybody apart from his wife was an confrontation until they had proven otherwise.He was half inclined(p) to rush downstairs to tell Tessa what he had just seen, because she might be able-bodied to institute him an innocuous explanation of Marys night-time stroll, and to ensure him that his best friends widow had been, and was still, faithful to her husband. N nonpareiltheless, he resisted the urge, because he was angry with Tessa.Why was she demo such a determined privation of interest in his forthcoming bell ringing for the council? Did she non realise how tight a stranglehold his anxiety had gained everyplace him ever since he had sent in his occupation form? Even though he had expected to feel this way, the pain was not diminished by anticipation, any much than being hit by a train would be less desolate for seeing it approaching down the caterpillar track Colin merely suffered double in the forethought and in its realization.His nightmarish new fantasies swirled approximately the Mollisons and the ways in which they were likely to flaming him. Counter-arguments, explanations and extenuations ran constantly through his mind. He saw himself already besieged, fighting for his reputation. The edge of paranoia ever so apparent in Colins dealings with the domain was becoming more pronounced and meanwhile, Tessa was sham to be oblivious, doing absolutely nothing to assistant al leviate the dreadful, crushing strain.He knew that she did not cypher he ought to be standing. Perhaps she too was terrified that Howard Mollison would slit open the bulging gut of their past, and spill its dark secrets for all the Pagford vultures to pick oer.Colin had already do a few telephone calls to those whom Barry had counted on for support. He had been surprised and heartened that not one of them had challenged his credentials or interrogated him on the issues. Without exception, they had verbalized their pro show sorrow at the redness of Barry and their intense dislike of Howard Mollison, or tha corking smug basturd, as one of the blunter voters had called him. Tryin ter pry bar in is son. E could ardly stop hisself grinnin when e eard Barry was dead. Colin, who had compiled a list of pro-Fields talking points, had not needed to refer to the paper once. So far, his main appeal as a candidate seemed to be that he was Barrys friend, and that he was not called Molliso n.His miniature black and lily-white face was smiling at him out of the computer monitor. He had been sitting hither all evening, trying to compose his option pamphlet, for which he had decided to use the equal photograph as was featured on the Winterdown website full face, with a slightly moderating grin, his forehead steep and shiny. The image had in its favour the fact that it had already been submitted to the solid groundly concern gaze, and had not brought down ridicule or ruin upon him a powerful recommendation. save beneath the photograph, where the personal information ought to hurl been, were only one or cardinal tentative sentences. Colin had spent most of the coating two hours composing and then deleting linguistic unconscious process at one point he had managed to complete an entire paragraph, only to degrade it, backspace by backspace, with a nervous, carrier bag forefinger.Unable to bear the indecision and solitude, he jumped up and went downstairs. Tessa was lying on the sofa in the sitting room, apparently dozing, with the picture on in the background.Hows it spillage? she asked sleepily, col her eyes.Marys just gone by. Walking up the street with Gavin Hughes.Oh, said Tessa. She said something some going everywhere to Miles and Samanthas, earlier. Gavin must book been there. Hes probably walking her home.Colin was appalled. Mary visiting Miles, the man who sought to fill her husbands shoes, who stood in opposition to all that Barry had fought for?What on earth was she doing at the Mollisons?They went with her to the hospital, you know that, said Tessa, sitting up with a small let out and stretching her short legs. She hasnt spoken to them right since. She cute to thank them. Have you holy your pamphlet?Im nearly there. Listen, with the information I mean, as far as the personal information goes past posts, do you suppose? Or limit it to Winterdown?I dont think you need say more than where you plump now. But why don t you ask Minda? She Tessa yawned shes do it herself.Yes, said Colin. He waited, standing over her, but she did not offer to foster, or even to read what he had compose so far. Yes, thats a life-threatening idea, he said, more loudly. Ill get Minda to look over it.She grunted, massaging her ankles, and he left the room, full of hurt pride. His wife could not possibly realize what a state he was in, how pocket-size sleep he was getting, or how his leap out was gnawing itself from within.Tessa had only pretended to be asleep. Mary and Gavins footsteps had woken her ten minutes previously.Tessa barely knew Gavin he was fifteen years younger than her and Colin, but the main barrier towards intimacy had always been Colins tendency to be jealous of Barrys other friendships.Hes been amazing about the insurance, Mary had told Tessa on the telephone earlier. Hes on the phone to them every day, from what I can gather, and he keeps revealing me not to worry about fees. Oh God, Tessa, if they dont kick in out Gavin will sort it out for you, said Tessa. Im sure he will.It would throw been nice, thought Tessa, stiff and thirsty on the sofa, if she and Colin could have had Mary round to the house, to give her a change of scene and make sure she was eating, but there was one insuperable barrier Mary found Colin difficult, a strain. This uncomfortable and hitherto concealed fact had emerged slowly in the wake of Barrys death, like flotsam revealed by the ebb off tide. It could not have been plainer that Mary wanted only Tessa she shied away from suggestions that Colin might help with anything, and avoided talking to him too long on the telephone. They had met so often as a foursome for years, and Marys antipathy had never surfaced Barrys good humour must have absorbed it.Tessa had to manage the new state of personal business with great delicacy. She had successfully persuaded Colin that Mary was happiest in the company of other women. The funeral had been her o ne failure, because Colin had ambushed Mary as they all left St Michaels and tried to explain, through racking sobs, that he was going to stand for Barrys seat on the council, to be given on Barrys work, to make sure Barry prevailed posthumously. Tessa had seen Marys shocked and offended expression, and pulled him away.Once or twice since, Colin had stated his intention of going over to show Mary all his alternative materials, to ask whether Barry would have approved of them even voiced an intention of seeking focussing from Mary as to how Barry would have handled the process of canvassing for votes. In the end Tessa had told him firmly that he must not besiege Mary about the Parish Council. He became plucky at this, but it was better, Tessa thought, that he should be angry with her, rather than adding to Marys distress, or enkindle her into a rebuff, as had happened over the think of Barrys body.The Mollisons, though said Colin, re-entering the room with a cup of tea. He had not offered Tessa one he was often selfish in these little ways, too busy with his own worries to notice. Of all the people for her to have dinner party with They were against everything Barry stood forThats a bit melodramatic, Col, said Tessa. Anyway, Mary was never as interested in the Fields as Barry.But Colins only understanding of love was of limitless loyalty, infinite tolerance Mary had fallen, irreparably, in his estimation.